used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
