Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
