Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
