what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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