porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
