i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
