We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
