I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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