I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
