I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
