i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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