i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
