i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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