Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
