So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
