My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
