I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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