can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
