I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
