Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
