A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
