Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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