We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
