i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
