well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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