Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
