Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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