Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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