I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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