If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
