I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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