I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
