Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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