New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
