he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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