Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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