If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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