doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
