And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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