do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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