ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
