Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
where are my eyebrows?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
