You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
