I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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