I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize