life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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