I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
