When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize