About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
