eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
two words: eviction party
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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