Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
