I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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