Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
