i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize