I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
