Porn is love you can see.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize