I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
