we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
